My First Lent – Day 7 – Blank Spaces

I felt led to write something daily for  Lent this year. So far, so good. Yet today… Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just a bunch of blank spaces.

Today, I’ve struggled. I’ve literally sat in front of my screen multiple times today with only a vague sense of a subject for today. It’s hard to write when you feel hurt and angry. It’s hard to string together a coherent sentence when you feel insecure.

For some reason, I’ve been fighting some real insecurity today. One little thing gets out of whack in my head, and suddenly everything is upended.  Today I was convinced I was a terrible home educator. Today I was convinced I wasn’t being the kind of wife I needed to be. Today I was convinced I would even burn the pork chops. 

But as my friends over text conversation reminded me, I’m not a terrible home educator. My kids are learning at their pace and in a rhythm that works for us. 

My husband was exasperated when I finally told him of my insecurities and why I was a bit upset today. He tried to assure me and make me feel better, at the same time probably wondering why I’m so insecure. Honestly, I don’t know why. I tend to over think simple things.

And much to my family’s delight, I did not burn dinner. In fact, my kids all ate great tonight. 

I really wanted to contribute something meaningful each day of this Lenten season. But today was one of those just make it to the end, collapse into bed, and hope tomorrow is better kind of days.

Peace to you all!