I think every woman has that magical number in her head that “I’ll never weigh.” I know I did. And in mid-May, I stepped on the scale, and I was .4 lbs away from it. Yes, that is a decimal in front of that four. Here, in bold, I was .4 lbs away from my dreaded number.
When I was 8 pounds away the previous November, I was disgusted with myself, but well, I had some wiggle room. Not much, but a bit. For months… years… I had wanted to lose weight, had a couple unsuccessful attempts even. But when the scale read less than half a pound away from my forbidden number, Hello, can you say wake-up call? Well, I decided to take back my health.
Not go on a diet. Diets don’t work. I needed a lifestyle change.
Some back story: Two weeks before that dreaded day on my bathroom scale, I was particularly depressed and overwhelmed. I started making an actual list of all the things I hated about my life. Yes, hate. There was some serious self-loathing going on (Great, now I’ve got you depressed reading this probably). Hey, I told you in my last post that I had been struggling with depression and anxiety. So, this is just one of the things that depressed people do. It ain’t pretty. And it certainly is not easy to live with self-loathing.
Well, the introspective person I am with almost a year of therapy under my belt realized my list didn’t qualify as healthy thinking. By the time my next session with my Life Coach rolled around, I had come to a realization about my little list. I needed to make changes. I told my Life Coach about my “things I hate about my life list.” I admitted I knew it was mentally unhealthy, but at the same time, I had turned it around to some positive things. I told her I realized that of the whole list, if I wanted changes, I could really only affect change with myself. Other people, outside situations, out of my control. But me? Make the changes I need with myself first, and the effects should ripple to the other situations making me unhappy.
So, when I stepped off the scale just tenths of a pound away from the dreaded number, I knew change had to start… and start immediately. How this lifestyle change would work, I would figure it out as I went along. I knew much of the basics, but this time, I knew I wanted to make it lasting.
Little did I know what effect it would have on my overall health and well-being… as well as my family’s.
Next Up: My Dietary Lifestyle Changes – The How