Okay, a break from the political diatribes. Time to focus on something that is positive and uplifting. And that is this week in my life, specifically my adventure in motherhood. So many memories of this week in my life over the last three years. Mostly all good, some bittersweet.
April 19, 2006 – My eldest child was born. K entered this world shortly after 2 a.m. three years ago today! I can’t believe my baby girl is 3 already! She has changed so much and she has brought so much joy to my life. I NEVER imagined motherhood would complete me as much as it has. My purpose, my calling in life all became clear when I got pregnant with K, and especially once I held her in my arms. Granted, I have never worked as hard as I have the past 3 years, either. All the work experience I had in the medical office, insurance field, IT field, and sales, well, it was NOTHING compared to the 24/7/365 that is motherhood. But I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING. I love my life, and K is such an amazing little person. She daily amazes me with little things, big things, and she helps me see the wonder of the world that we adults forget exists. She is smart as a whip, but I feel that I’m the one that is learning… learning so much about myself because of her. I thank God for entrusting her to me. She is a blessing, and I pray I can be the kind of mother to her that mine was to me.
April 22, 2008 – My baby boy was born. I can’t believe J is going to be ONE already! This past year has flown! He is such a great baby. Laid back, happy almost all the time, such a great smile. He just got his first hair cut, and he looks like such a little man now. He’s starting to self wean, which makes me a little sad. I nursed K for 15 months and had hoped to at least get that far with J. But he’s an active little boy and is always on the go. We only nurse in the morning and most nights at bedtime. Because of his food allergies, I’ve been on a restricted diet, too. I’ve had so many people act astonished that I would continue to nurse while having to avoid certain foods. But, to me, that’s part of motherhood. You sacrifice sometimes to do what is best for your kids. For me, if I have to give up some tasty treats and favorite foods to ensure that J gets to continue receiving mommy’s milk, then so be it. But something tells me I won’t have to worry about it much longer… if he’s nursing a month from now, I’d be surprised. He’s growing up so quickly!
April 18-24, 2007 – This is the 2nd most life changing event I’ve experienced. The first was of course the birth of my daughter a year prior to this. This event, however, would change me forever. A surprise pregnancy ended with losing the baby. The pain has dulled over time, but at times, it still gets me. Today at church, the song I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin just struck me and the pain felt fresh at first. It’s only because of the time of the year, I know that. But then I felt God’s comforting hand during the song as well… When we sang the lyrics “And I hear the voice of many Angels sing, ‘Worthy is the Lamb.’ And I hear the cry of every longing heart, ‘Worthy is the Lamb'” I just knew my baby was up in Heaven right at that very moment worshiping God, one of those very voices shouting and singing “Worthy is the Lamb!” And I know that one day, one glorious day, I will meet that precious little one, but for now, my baby is in the very presence of my Savior and my God! Wow!
And that’s what makes that experience so life changing because through the anger and pain, I grew, and I realized that God’s plan for my life was so incredibly different than what I wanted, and I’m fine with that now. I wouldn’t have J if that pregnancy had not ended, and I can’t imagine life without my baby boy.
What an amazing time of the year for me. I celebrate the birth of my two babies. And I celebrate the future reunion I’ll have with my little angel up in Heaven. I am so blessed to have had those three lives intersect with mine while living this life God gave me. I’m looking forward to the future and what it holds as I continue my adventure in motherhood.
If you don’t know the song, take a moment and listen. Chris Tomlin is an amazing song writer.