So, do you think that birthday cake tastes sweeter in Heaven? Silly question I know… there really is no concept of time there, so I doubt anyone really has a birthday. But, today is a pretty special day to me.
My 2nd baby would have turned 1 today. My due date was 11/23/07, and they of course had talked about scheduling a c-section, so that would have occurred 11/16/07. But God saw fit to take my little angel home sooner than that – just a little less than 9 weeks after that life was created. And the pain was so intense for so long.
Last November I was pregnant with Jonah. Being pregnant with him really helped dull the pain. But I remember the impact that knowing such an important date was passing by and no one really knew. A lost baby is forgotten by almost everyone. Honestly, I don’t even think Eric realized it. And I’m not upset about it. I wasn’t then and I’m not know. The pain of miscarriage sticks with the mother the most I think. After all, we are the ones that feel like our body betrayed us. And we are the ones that will forever know our bodies carried a life, for however how short a time.
But I’m digressing here…I’m not here to talk about the pain. Because for the most part I’m over the pain. Ironically, though, last week I did actually cry a bit when I heard a song that reminded me of the miscarriage. But really, the pain is gone. Of course, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about this baby that I won’t meet this side of Heaven. And now that I have Jonah, I still struggle with knowing that had my 2nd pregnancy been normal, I wouldn’t have my sweet baby boy who is 6 months old and on the verge of crawling!
Instead, today, I prayed and asked the Lord to tell my baby Happy Birthday for me. The Lord has blessed me with two great babies here on Earth – Katie and Jonah. And one day I’ll meet my little one in Heaven. And what a family reunion that will be! Until then, I’ll quietly remember every November 16th and mark the occasion in my heart.
Happy birthday, baby! I love you and can’t wait to meet you!